It's Neither Here Nor There

A blog about two friends far apart yet close at heart.

am I resolute enough?


Dear Carolyn,

I can’t tell you how happy I was to see you finally! Wow, can you believe it’d been 2 years? Technology these days makes it so nice, and weird at the same time. Mike’s mom felt the same effect, like we’d never left or something, because we are constantly talking and seeing videos and pics of one another. I often think about the pioneer women, like the Little House on the Prairie series that I’ve read with Abby, when they took off with their strappin’ husband and everything they could fit in a covered wagon and headed west… facing peril, silence, animals, nature, and adventure. Who can resist adventure? Sometimes I think of myself as boring ol’ Kristy, but then I think of this grand adventure that God has given us and chuckle to myself. In a new millenium way, we jumped into this grand adventure, shoveling snow, dealing with darkness (the very real kind), and cabin fever like few will ever experience (it’s a very real phenomenon). Why? To live the life God has designed for us. Sometimes the idealist in me desires for things to be grandiose and perfect. Remember when I had the audacity to say I wanna live like Paul, a life that seems extreme and wildy unpredictable. He definitely abandoned all and sold out to the Christian calling. But this morning at church, the pastor’s sermon reminded me that it’s in the ordinary, day to day life of believers where Christ is evident, and where we have impact through him. It was good for me. It’s my attitude and words when my kids are losing all sense of sanity and having hissy fits, when Mike is grumpy and grouching, when my students have meltdowns or won’t stop making animal sounds, when someone at work is grating the very last nerve that is barely hanging on by a thread … my reaction in those moments is what makes or breaks my witness for His glory. It was sobering to think of the things I’ve complained about at work and I must say I’m convicted. Thankfully, tomorrow I will have the chance to get up and do it all over again, and again, and again for as long as my days are numbered… that’s the great news, His mercies are truly new every morning and we get a do-over of sorts.

At this time of year especially, I’m full of hopes and dreams, and sometimes even regrets. Looking back at the past year has been both good and bad. I can easily focus on my failures (the seemingly endless run of bad attitude), my challenges (going back to work and leaving my sweet 2 year old in someone else’s care), my limited successes (gee, I can’t teach all first graders to read in the first semester of school nor will I ever get all the special ed paperwork right) and get depressed. It’s the focus on self that is depressing, though. When I look at who God is, how He’s been abundantly sufficient in our family, and how by His grace, we are here and thriving, I am amazed. At Him..A.Mazed.

This new year, I have thought about some goals, although I really haven’t done any in years (that nagging feeling of incomplete tasks and not measuring up just aren’t worth it). I’m reading The Happiness Project and One Bite at a Time, and these have both been good for getting me to have a little more grace for myself…that being perfect isn’t the goal, rather doing things with excellence, and trying again tomorrow when we don’t have raging success for a few days.

Reading Tsh Oxenreider’s writings about New Year’s resolutions has really helped shaped my thinking this year.

So, here’s my goals, some serious and some not so important:

  • eat more veggies
  • go to gym on Tues/Thur. morning
  • floss daily (got a head start in December and so far have only skipped 2x)
  • read through the Bible this year (I’ve yet to do this in one year, but am determined, plus I have an app for that, ha!)
  • commit to and complete a marriage class with Mike (began last week)
  • skinny white chocolate mocha on Friday only
  • write more (blog, prayer journal, letters to my kids, etc.)

It seems like a long list, so I’m tackling a little at a time, not expecting to have this all mastered by next week! I’ll try to keep you posted! Any resolutions and reflections in your neck of the woods?



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“am I resolute enough?”

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